A good example of intermittent reinforcement in a romantic relationship is when you reach out for support and sometimes your partner offers you support, other times not. Human beings are hardwired to survive and as such, trauma bonds - something often compared to and used interchangeably with Stockholm syndrome - start to take shape when someone receives intermittent reinforcement. Leaving - and breaking the trauma bond - is a confusing process, not a simple act you perform once Unlike other types of bonding, trauma bonding can occur when there is physical, psychological, emotional or sexual abuse between abuser and victim. Although as a society we see bonding as something warm, fuzzy and positive, this type of bond is anything but. Even as I tried and tried to leave him, each time saying it was really over this time, we both knew the bonds were too tight.įor people experiencing abusive relationships, often a big part of why leaving feels impossible is because of something psychologists call ‘trauma bonding’. The words rang hollow though, as she gave me the sad look I knew only too well. We’d had the conversation one thousand times before, and I’d told my best friend I would really leave my abuser this time. SBS miniseries Safe Home premieres on Thursday 11 May at 8.30pm on SBS and SBS On Demand.
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